Dysfunctional
by Edward Cullen Wifey
Summary: Bella is volatile and dangerous, to herself and others. Far too often her anger consumes her. Why is she so angry? Can the new guy Edward break her shell? Will she let him in? Can he save her from herself? And how far will he go to keep her alive? AH
1. Multifaceted

**AN:**** ok I am trying this new story but it might not get far so right now I write as I go and I will see where it goes from there.**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Twilight and I make no money off it.**

**Review !**

Bella POV

You could tell me your name and everything about you. You could tell me your birthday, your favorite color, book, movie and food. You could tell me about your parents, hobbies and brag on and on about your friends. In return I could tell you my name. Only my name, maybe not even that. I couldn't describe my personality or my identity because I don't fucking know. Yea I could give you my whole life's story but it wouldn't mean shit. Most of it will be lies. Even though I am weird you'll want to be my friend and talk to me but I won't let you in. Sure I will joke around and smile but it will be a lie, just like everything else. You won't even notice because of how good I am at hiding it. Hiding the fact that I cut myself and enjoy it, or that I cry myself to sleep and then the cryptic nightmares that are so complex I can't even begin to explain it all. That's just a few of many more. No you won't notice. Shit for awhile I didn't notice but it was always there. I'm so multifaceted that I don't know myself. How screwed up is that? But in the end I am me. Bella. Complete with crude language and a dirty mind. I know I'm a sick freak. Not like the cyco's you see on TV that stalk people or fantasize about blowing up a major office building. No I am very different. In my head so many things go on, I hear myself speak various things in my mind that I don't even think about. I'm greatly aware of what I am capable of. Homicide, suicide, and the list continues. No, I haven't killed anyone. Yet. But just the thought haunt my everyday life.

I may not look like it, but I can do some major damage. I hurt myself and everyone around me. You'd think that by the aura I give off that people would stay away from me but yet my fake smile and personality invite you in. I am a perfectly screwed up being and I advise you to stay away from me but I won't tell you that because I ain't your damn mother and your choices are yours to make. So when you get hurt don't bitch at me because you had it coming. Because you just had to befriend the weird girl because you thought she was cool. In all reality you think you know me but here's a reality check, you don't. You like me because I am interesting. Because I do drugs and get wasted every night. But that's it so don't tell your friends you know me because you can't. I have no identity. I move with the rest of you because that's what's expected of me. Trust me if I had the choice I would turn my back on everything and go somewhere where I could sit with my own demented thoughts and not be. Not be who I am. Not be who you want me to be. Not be who you think I am. Not be anyone, more like an 'it'. The thing. The thing that can't define what it is. But still know that it's different. Not a new thing more like an experiment gone wrong. A failed attempt at reproduction. A mistake. A degenerative disease slowly destroying everything and enjoying it. A freak. Meant to be shunned and disregarded. Better yet destroyed. Tortured in every way possible. This is me. This is my mind. And I'm not even done yet.

After knowing this do you still want to be "friends"? Didn't think so.


	2. Welcome

**AN: ok this is my second chapter to this story. Please Review!**

**Bella P.O.V.**

"Bella! Bella!" someone yelled banging on my bed room door. Is the DO NOT DESTERUB sign spelled wrong? Before I could even roll my ass over the thing deemed as my father on my birth certificate barges in to MY room.

"What the hell?"

"Get up. It's time for school." He said in that authority filled voice that is supposed to scare me. Please. All its doing is making my ranging hangover worse.

"Schools closed today." I said as rolled onto my stomach and hopped he would bounce.

"Why? What holiday is it?" Damn what's with the Q&A?

"Fuck off day!" I groaned into my pillow.

"Excuse me?"

"Apparently you don't get it. Let me put it in simpler terms so even the microscopic organisms can understand it." I said sitting up facing him. "Turn around go away. Go to your room and have a nice date with your hand." He had this shocked look on his face I've never said something like that to him.

"How dare-"I immediately cut him off having heard the same thing repeatedly for years.

"Blah blah how dare I speak to you that way blah blah rude blah blah ungrateful blah get my ass up blah go to school. You done?" he opened his mouth to speak again.

"Okay then. Bye." I said pushing him out and slamming the door in his shocked face.

"Find your own way to school!" he yelled through the now looked door.

"Wow, nice come back."

I got dressed in my usually black baggy jeans black and black long sleeve shirt I shrugged on my, eight sizes too big, black hoddie with my usual run down black chucks. This is my whole wardrobe. Complete with black underwear and socks.

Since moody parental figure refuses to drive me- thank god- I can walk. All ten blocks.

Eventually I got to school but I was an unsurprising thirty minutes late. I strolled into my first period class without a late pass or my books. As I walked to my desk in the back of the room all eyes were on me. I know I'm fine but damn.

"Miss Swan you're late." My math teacher said.

"Well fuck me. I didn't even realize. Thanks for stating the obvious Mr. Fruit Platter"

"It's Mr. Berries and you don't use that type of language in my class room."

"Like I said Mr. Fruit Platter and it's my mouth and I can't say whatever I want."

"Please sit down so I can continue my class."

"My pleasure."

After three classes and two cursed out teachers, the lunch bell rung. About time.

When I got to the cafeteria I cut about nine people all of which weren't too supped about it but who am I to care. After I got two slices of pizza and a grape soda all of which I did not pay for I went to my usual table at the back of the room. I sat down and within minutes a few of "think they know me friends" started to show up saying hello to me. They continued talking about all kinds of mindless shit and as usual I didn't listen to a thing they said. When I finished up my pizza and drank the last of my water I pushed my trashed toward the middle of the table for one of the ass kissers to throw out. I was leaning back in my chair waiting the end of lunch. That's when I saw him. It's obvious that it's his first day here. Trust and believe if it wasn't I would have tried on that. He was absolutely gorgeous. With his bronze colored hair that stood in all directions. He had very pale skin but his skin tone complemented him when it clashed with the color of his hair. He had defined arms but not to muscular. Not like those freaks that are like less than two percent body fat with ugly veins popping out of their skin and think it's hot. This guy was in all actuality the hottest guy I had ever seen.

When the dismissal bell rang I barely noticed. I spent the whole afternoon day dreaming about the nameless fine piece of ass I saw in the cafeteria. I ran as fast as I could away from the school and began my ten block walk back to the place I'm forced to live in. I was almost scared because it wasn't normal for me to just swoon over some guy, or any guy. I mean I didn't even know I have fucked more guys than you can count on your fingers.

As I continued walking I could see the house from where I was and as I walked my own hell got closer. Next thing I knew I was at the door and opening it with my key. I walked in and dropped my empty book bag on the floor. Why do I even carry that thing? I don't carry books and I sure as hell don't do any homework. When I got to my room I immediately started looking for my razors. There were too many emotions going through me. It's bad enough with all the anger, hatred, and fear I carry around but this new emotion was just overpowering. Is it _love?_ No it can't be love I don't even know him. This is just lust, really strong and manipulating lust. Once I found what I desired most, like I reflex I went to my bathroom. As usual I turned on the shower on cold and stepped in fully clothed. I sunk down to the shower floor and let the ice cold water numb me. When I felt myself shuddering I lifted up my left sleeve and while gazing all the other unhealed scars I brought the razor to my skin. With shaky hands I made five new cuts along my arm. When my blood started to fall I felt free and liberated. I just let everything I couldn't deal with pour out. All the emotions the dreams and the flashes just ceased to exist. I felt empty just how I liked. I just closed my eyes and let the water wash over me. Cleaning me of everything painful. I honestly didn't know how long I laid there but I could bring myself to give a shit. I felt nothing. Right now death would be painless. I welcome death. Come get me bitch.

**Please Review Thank you!**


	3. Extacy

**AN: ****thanks so much for the reviews and please keep them coming. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I am just having my fun with it.**

Bella P.O.V

I knew I wasn't dead but how I wished I were. Once I stood up and rinsed the blood off my wrists I went to my personal bathroom. Quickly I searched for a long sleeve shirt to cover my arms and some jeans. Once I was dressed I wasted no time and grabbed my hoodie and keys off my bedside table. I looked at the cock and it was already eleven thirty but I didn't care I just needed out.

Without being noticed I got out of the house and began walking down the street. I'm not sure how long I had been walking but when I saw that I was in front of my boyfriends' house I didn't care. I walked up the path toward the house painted a soft yellow. But from the music I could hear from outside the house wasn't soft. I spent many nights in this house and it was the hell on earth. I walked up the five steps and opened the never locked door. When the door was opened a cloud of smoke hit me, which was normal for this house. I searched the house for my boyfriend and I found him in the basement with his friends. He noticed me standing there and a stupid smirk spread across his face. If I wasn't so desperate I would have slapped him but I was in no position to piss me off.

"I knew you'd be back." he said.

"Please Mike." I begged.

"Here slut!" he said. He was holding out a small plastic bag with five small pink pills inside. I quickly snatched the bag from him and ran toward the kitchen stepping over some passed out guy. When I got to the trashed kitchen there was beer cans covering the floor. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a large bottle of vodka. I left the kitchen and began walking up the stairs to the second floor. I went into the first room I saw and sat on the bed. The room I was in must have belonged to a girl. I could tell by the posters of hot guys that adorned the walls. I opened the clear glass bottle of vodka and brought it to my mouth. I took a long drink and let it burn my throat.

I opened the small plastic bag and put all the pills into my hand. The pills were just as I remembered, small, pink with an E on it. Extacy. My release. Without a second thought I put all the pills in mouth and took a drink out of my bottle. About ten minutes later I started to feel the effects. I just lay out on the bed and watched the ceiling spin. This was my routine almost everyday. I felt happy high.

"Get the fuck up!" Mike shouted. I didn't even realize he was in the room. "I'm so sick of your worthless ass. You come here and ask me for shit but do you ever pay me back? NO! You had your chance to come up with the money you owe me but it's to late now. We're gonna do this my way." he said. He turned his back to me and I heard the door being locked.

"What the fuck is you talking about?" I said.

"I'm talking about you and your stupid ass."

"Whatever Mike. You're drunk, so go sleep it off."

"No. I'm not drunk. It's payment time." he said as he walked toward me. I tried to get up off the bed but the whole room was spinning and I fell on the floor. I was too high to even walk straight. I knew running was out of the question. Drunk or not, Mike was faster and stronger. So my only option was to scream. I screamed as loud as I could and then I felt Mike's fist collide with my face.

"If you scream again I will kill you!" he shouted. He grabbed my neck with his large hang and pushed me up against the wall. His grip was so tight hat I thought my neck would break.

"Do you understand me?" he asked. I nodded my head and he released me. I fell to the floor clutching my neck and taking large gulps of air. The air filling my lungs burned like a fire in my chest but it felt painfully good at the same time. Mike came and grabbed my arm had and threw me on the bed. I tried to roll off the bed but he grabbed my hair and my head jerked back. The pain was so sudden that I couldn't hold back my scream.

"What did I just fucking say?" he yelled. Yet again I felt his hand collide with right cheek when he slapped me. My cheek was throbbing with pain and I clutched my hand to my cheek. I heard him undoing his belt buckle and removing his belt from his dark blue jeans. He grabbed both my wrists and he pinned them down above my head. I tried to pull my hands away but he was too strong. He fastened his belt tightly around my wrists and on one of the bars on the headboard.

"Please let me go Mike." I begged. He completely ignored me and started to undo my jeans. I kept trying to get away but with my hands tied up it didn't help. When Mike started to undo my jeans, I began to cry, because I knew what he was going to do.

**AN:** **please review. Reviews make me write faster. And the faster I write the sooner you get a new chapter.**


	4. Infuriated

**AN: Review are nice. I need a Beta!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward. But I do own my dog and he has nice eyes too. He makes me happy. **

Bella POV

I closed my eyes. Never had I wanted to die so much. If I did I would not have to feel. I willed myself to pass out. I held my breath hoping but this action brought me nothing but haunting images. Slide after slide disturbing pictures and scenes flashed across my eyelids. The horrid faces that taunt me relentlessly. Teasing my self-control. Trying to force me to expel my anger and frustration.

I felt everything even through the numbness that overcame my body. Something said to be so pleasurable holds no pleasure for me in any way. Slowly my body started to react. As each minute passed the horrifying pleasure seem to seep through the cracks in my so carefully formed wall in my mind. The sick feeling of pleasure makes me nauseous. It disgusts me to no end that I can achieve any form of pleasure from this. But after all I am a sick, fucked up being.

When Mike finally finished he pushed himself from on top on me and stood. As he redressed himself he started talking but all I can hear are mumbled words. Its like a raging ocean in my ears. Flooding my senses and making me incoherent. I didn't move and I didn't want to. I felt so dirty and disgusting. I felt almost dead.

"You know you wanted it so don't play that ' I'm a victim' shit. And if you tell anyone I will kill you." he said, then turned toward the door and left. Left me alone, broken and dead. Hours and hours passed by and I just laid there. I didn't move and I didn't think. For hours I laid on that very bed. I didn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes they were there haunting, taunting, laughing. As if this was the comedy of the year.

Soon enough I saw the bright beams of the sun as it cast its rays of sunlight through the deep purple curtain. Mechanically I got up and got dressed. It was like a reflex reaction. I didn't think about getting up and I didn't intend on acting on it. I was fully content with the thought of lying there and staving to death. If there even is a God apparently he wants me to continue suffering. As if this is not enough, he just wont let me die. What have I done in my lifetime that was so horrible that I deserve this? I wish God would tell me who I've wronged so that maybe I can make amends.

I left the room and even with the slightest movement pain still coursed through my body. Making my chest tighten and my heart clench. As I descended the steps my body succumbed to each and every wave of pain almost crippling me. When I made it to the bottom I breathed a sigh of relief but immediately regretted my action as the right side of my upper body throbbed with pain that I failed to realize, until now.

I made my way to the door and the house was empty. All that remained as proof that this wasn't a dream were the empty beer cans scattered across the floor almost covering the dark wood from sight. I exited the house and began the painful walk home. The bright sun burned my eyes but I made no move to shield myself. As I walked everything around me was silent. The world seemed dead. Almost as much as I felt. Even the annoying chirps of birds seemed to me non-existent in my world of exile. I walked and walked, slowly and never changing my pace. The walk seemed to go on for days and never seemed to stop. Id I even want it to. Minutes later I saw the white and green house that I currently reside in, come into view. Soon enough I was at the doorstep. Carelessly I unlocked the door and walked in. Letting the door slam itself shut behind me. At this point I really didn't care if I was heard.

I saw Charlie sitting in his chair but I didn't acknowledge him at all. I continued on through the living room and walked past him. He grabbed my wrist tightly wrenching my body back toward him. The sudden force of the movement made the slowly dulling pain in my side flare up like a raging fire. I looked at Charlie and his eyes were dark with rage and his grip on my wrist tightened as he started to talk.

"Where have you been?" he shouted in my face. The stench of his morning breath laced with alcohol fanned my face almost chocking me. The smile that erupted on my face and the following laughter that emitted from me sounded foreign and angered him further.

"Out." I said as a reply to his question.

"No shit Bella! I came to your room early this morning and you weren't there. Where were you?" He shouted again. Once again the stench emitting from his mouth made me gag with laughter and disgust.

"I left out early this morning before you woke up. I went to the library." I said sarcastically in an innocent voice.

"Bullshit Bella! Your bed was still made. You did not sleep here last night. Stop playing with me."

"Believe what you want Chief. But I'm tired of this interrogation so I'm going to bed." I said while I tried to pull my hand from his grip. But I was no match for his strength as his grip tightened. By now I cant even feel my hand. And the blood flow restriction make my arm tingle and burn.

"You will tell me where you were and who you were with!"

"Was that a command? Who do you think you are my mother? She's dead remember." I shouted in anger. The memories I still held of her flooded my mind. I had a killer headache. So many memories, thoughts, and images. My mind felt clouded and blocked with the amount of emotion. My head felt as if it will explode momentarily.

"You are my daughter and you are my responsibility. You live in my home and you will not speak of you mother to me ever again." The anger rolling off him increases, threatening me of impending danger. But I ignore it as my own anger flares.

"Its all your fault she's dead. I'm not your daughter. You don't own me. You never cared about me so don't act like you do now. Drop the fucking act Charlie." I spat back at him. I ignored the pain in my side and wrists. But the worst pain I felt was the pain in my heart. All the emotions and thoughts that I've worked so hard to repress are filling my heart, since I have no more space in my head. As my heart swells with pain and anger my chest starts to heave and I can barely breath. I try taking long deep breaths but it doesn't help. My heart feels as if it will explode in my chest. Hopefully it will and end my life. I saw his hand moving at lightning speed and then I felt it collide with my face.

"Do you feel better now?" I screamed at him trying to keep my tears at bay. The throbbing pain in my cheek failed to faze me. I didn't feel anything. "Go ahead hit me again and see how you feel then. Come on do it. It won't be the first time somebody hit me."

"I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't mean that." he apologized as his tears formed in his eyes.

"It feels good doesn't it? To have power. You feel superior don't you? Don't you feel the adrenaline? Come on Charlie keep going. Why you stopping now? You're just getting started. Finish the job. You want to teach me a lesson? Come on then. Why are you holding back? I'm right here. This is your now or never Dad!" I continued screaming. He seemed sad and broken as if he regretted what he said and did. He might have but I was so infuriated that I really didn't care what he felt. Right now was my turn. My time to release some anger. I wont hit him but I sure as hell will break him down emotionally and mentally. I will destroy him, piece by piece. I thought of everything I could put together to hurt him. And I continued to stab at the unclosed wound he has had for so long.

"You let mom leave and you let her take me with her. You didn't call to see if we were okay. Shit the least you could have done was check to see if we were alive. But no you were to busy wallowing in your own self pity. So what, she left you. Its not like you even tried to fight for her. You didn't make adjustments for her. Love is sacrifice, Charlie. You were too caught up in your going fishing and watching baseball, to see that your wife was alone. Every time you left for work she felt abandoned. Your a damn cop. Everyday she waited for the call saying that you had been shot or attacked on the job. And when you came home you watched the game and went to sleep. Did you ever think about her needs? The mother of your child goes before anything and everyone else. Not baseball and fishing with Billy. So it's your fault she's dead, just as much as it's mine."

"It wasn't like that. I didn't see what I was doing, and its not like she tried to tell me." He said.

"Save it." I said coldly as I started for the stairs. When I got in my room I crashed on the bed. As tired as I was I didn't sleep, I couldn't. At no time before now had the ceiling held so much interest for me. Day became night and night became day, and so on. I didn't speak. I didn't live. I didn't think. It hurt too much.

Please review.


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